From the New York Times bestselling author of More Happy Than Not comes an explosive examination of grief, mental illness, and the devastating consequences of refusing to let go of the past.

The deluxe edition features a new introduction by New York Times bestselling author Becky Albertalli, an exclusive short story, and much more!

When Griffin's first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he's been imagining for himself has gone far off course.

To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin's downward spiral continues. He's losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he's been keeping are tearing him apart.

If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.

Adam Silvera is the New York Times bestselling author of They Both Die at the End, More Happy Than Not, and History Is All You Left Me and--together with Becky Albertalli--coauthor of What If It's Us. He was named a Publishers WeeklyFlying Start. Adam was born and raised in the Bronx. He was a bookseller before shifting to children's publishing and has worked at a literary development company and a creative writing website for teens and as a book reviewer of children's and young adult novels. He is tall for no reason and lives in Los Angeles. Visit him online at www.adamsilvera.com.

• 5/02/23 UPDATE: While we have plenty of signed books, we do not expect to see Mr. Silvera again until September 2023. Requests for personalizations can be honored if you are willing to wait a few months to receive your signed book.
• Please allow 1-2 weeks for domestic delivery and longer for international orders. 
• If you would like your book personalized to yourself or someone else, please indicate to whom in the comments field of your order. Name only please, no messages. 

Photo credit: Elliot Knight